Have you ever had someone come to your cubicle and talk nonstop about their latest hobby? Now… how much did you actually care about what they were saying to you? Honestly.
That’s what I thought.
On the other side of the coin, are you ever guilty of chatting someone’s ear off yourself? We probably all are. We all focus so much on ourselves that we forget to consider the wants and needs of the people around us.
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Chapter Two – The Big Secret of Dealing with People
Focusing On What Other People Want Is The Key To Getting What You Want. All of our actions and all of our responses to situations are based on what we want or decide to do. So the question is… how do we get other people to do what we want?
- Get on their side – Listen to that coworker’s gabby story. Ask about their pet. Make them feel appreciated.
- Consider their viewpoint – There is more than one way to solve a problem or one way to view a situation. Consider what their perspective might be.
- Make them think it was their idea – Set your desires into motion by making someone think it was their idea.
- Validate their effort – Be sincere with them, tell them your honest thoughts without criticism.
Add these up and you my friend, have influence.
Here are a few quotes from the book that we can take away regarding the lessons of chapter two:
Why talk about what you want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. Dale Carnegie
The secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own. Henry Ford
Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: “How can I make this person want to do it?” Dale Carnegie
View my thoughts on chapter one here.